Can you imagine envy
and admiration to be the two sides of the same coin?
Well, I never had inkling that it was so, till I was led
to realize that it indeed is so. At least for me, it is—and in no way can it be
deemed absolute, as nothing is absolute, in this relative plane of life that we
lead. So, we all have our own interpretations, depending on our perceptions…and
over time, our own perceptions change, surrounding the same matter. At times we
hail it as evolution…and times other, we refer to this change as maturity. Call
what we will, but the fact of the matter is changeability is the norm, as well
as forte, of life.
Thus, here I am, with my realization that envy and
admiration are the two facets of the same face! And even this realization, has
added on dimensions—with changes added to it—since the time it was first ‘received’.
But then, only by expressing and explaining ‘how’ one is
led to a realization, completes the picture of the realization. Otherwise,
simply affirming one’s observation sounds like a declaration absolute.
All realizations result out of experiences varied, and
these experiences too change—with it the realizations too undergo ‘editing’.
But then what does not?! Though yes, when the realization strikes, it catches
one unawares. It comes as an insight, and when it does, the feelings that are
evoked are inexplicable…as all feelings are. Yet, it is the genius of
Wordsworth that he could capture the inexplicable, and express it so
wondrously, as he has done, through the immortal lines: “The flash upon the
inward eye, which is the bliss of solitude”, in his very famous work, “The
Daffodils”. Indeed, these realizations do strike as flashes—on and seen,
through the inner eye—unbeknownst to us.
Gradually the essence of the realization evolves…
The same has happened in the context of envy and
admiration…
The trigger
It all began with: “Neighbor’s envy, owner’s pride”, the tagline
synonymous with Onida TV. Years ago, still a kid, when I first saw the
advertisement, I simply hated it. Over the years, the feelings for the same
have undergone changes though. No longer is it hated, because now I know it is
the creative expression of the person, whose it is. And as each being is
unique, so unique would be one’s creations too. As one perceives so one
creates.
Opinions might differ—and that they do, more often than
not. We might not agree to some or many—as the fact is, as we perceive, so we
receive and conceive…and thus we express. Hence, the response to the same
differs for different people—and likewise the expression too does. Thus, the
philosophy behind “Neighbor’s envy, owner’s pride”, though doesn’t share a
place of pride in my consciousness, it is acknowledged as much as the creative
expressions of a being, as much as it is thanked for leading me to the
realizations and revelations it has.
When I first saw the advertisement as a kid, the visual
effect had been nauseating. It was repulsive. I simply couldn’t agree, and thus
accept it—and this manifested as my dislike for the same. And even later the dislike
could not be converted to a liking for the same.
Though later, it has become more of a disagreement than
dislike, transcending the visual impact. The disagreement is with the inherent
philosophy of the advertisement.
The disagreement
Primarily, it ‘reaches’ me as an approach which looks to encash
the negative emotions. The higher is envy-quotient, higher should be the sale-ability
of what the advertisement came up to sell.
Envy is a trait which could hardly be called positive, and
pride if not tempered, tampers with one’s life. And all of it is the doings of
the ego. We are mistakenly consumed by ego, which we term as self-respect—many
a times—as life’s thin line of demarcations are really thinner than the thinnest.
It is all about following, “This far and no farther.”
Ego is felt by many as essential, but till it stays within
the limits of self-respect. But to still the ego, the mind has to be stilled.
It is a task, none would find enviable, and when accomplished one would not even
take pride in it, as by then one would have realized that pride too is a
dressage of ego!
Hence, the proud use of ‘pride’ and ‘envy’ was not
acceptable to me. Little did I understand then about ‘catch lines and phrases’,
which, I do now. Now the tagline is accepted, as a point of view of an
individual—with every right to one’s views. But it is not the view that is
accepted.
I abide by my feelings! I can’t envy anybody’s pride! And
I can’t take pride in this act of not envying, as well!
The link
My
esteemed readers might be wondering as to where I am wandering with these two
words, and what significance does my views about an advertisement carry. But
rest assured, wherever we (yes, you too, as you are reading these words!) are
wandering, we are, without any envy or pride.
But
definitely with admiration for the philosophy that is unveiled to me, through
the philosophy which is not even in sync with me—that of the advertisement. I
admire the creativity of a creative being, through whose pen (though nowadays
it is through the strokes on the keyboard!) it resulted—and made me go deep
within and realize why I do not agree with, what I do not. The reason has to be
there—otherwise it would be a biased view. And disagreeing doesn’t mean one has
to be disagreeable. Rather now I am thankful to the advertisement, which as a
kid I hated! After all, whatever happens happens with a reason behind its
happening—apparent or not.
It
led me to access what I could, as it led me to the fact that we end up envying what we admire…though the
reverse is not true. The link between envy and admiration was thus
presented to me—and I could simply accept it with gratitude, and of course,
admiration. How things are right in front of our eyes, and how we see them only
when we focus and refocus our vision...
And once we realize, what we realize, it all seems so very
obvious, forcing us to ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I see/think the same before?”
The same is felt when the link between envy and admiration
is revealed, as ‘received’. It seems so obvious now, as it is thus unveiled. Is
it not true, that we usually wish to possess those qualities and things which
we admire, yet others have it and we don’t? And then, when we fail to, the
failure leads (or misleads?) to envy, towards the person and the possessions—material
and non-material, the capabilities.
Only that which we admire, and hence like, we wish to
‘have’, and when it is a ‘have-not’, admiration is not—having swiftly given way
to envy. It is just a matter of flipping the coin…over to the side that is
envy.
The response
Thus, that which is
admired ends up being envied. No
wonder then that generally the admirable qualities are those which are rendered
enviable as well.
It is more of a
habitual response that we come up with. Yet can we not change it? We surely
can—shift in the perspective is ‘all’ that is required. Though yes, this ‘all’
that is required is a task ‘tall’, as it requires us to come out of the deep
folds of habit—and its associated comfort zone. But yes, the task it ‘not at
all’ impossible—and on its attainment, it is an achievement admirable.
That which is
admirable, remains admirable—it need not be enviable. As the moment it is
received as enviable our plight becomes pitiable, for which none, but we
ourselves are responsible. A neighbor doesn’t need to envy…and the owner is not
required to take pride in owning what the neighbor envies. The choice is the
owner’s, as well as that of the neighbor. One can become green with envy, and
one could inflate oneself with pride—yet in both cases, ultimately, one finds
oneself deflated in life.
Envy and admiration
are not next door neighbors. They are residents of the same house. It is up to
us, ‘who’ we call upon, and forth. Though admirable is enviable, it is not at
all advisable—to envy what we admire, in case we do not ‘have’ what we admire.
It contaminates the admiration.
How about
acknowledging that which is admirable, as commendable instead? In fact,
admiring the admirable, without any envy, is in itself admirable. So, which
side of the coin would we choose: envy or admiration? To ‘win over’ life, we
know which side to side with. Do we not?
Sushmita Mukherjee,
January 13, 2013
P.S. An evolved version of a blog, written three years
ago, “Admirable is Enviable”.
